Rock on over to my new blog at www.yourockmom.wordpress.com

Writer's Block, Insecurities and Wax Jobs

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged, due to writer's block, I think, and maybe some insecurities.

The other day my husband mentioned that my status of "Deep in Thought" on my Gmail account has said that for a couple of months now. I told him that it hasn't changed. I'm always deep in thought and analyzing life. It's just harder to put it down in writing.

My writing friend, Carol, quoted Donald Miller in his book A Million Miles in A Thousand Years, who says something like, "A writer doesn't necessarily want to write, they just want to be written." I can so relate, especially with my ADD, impatient self.

So, I've decided to start a big girl blog over at wordpress.com. It's under construction but I'm excited about the features it offers and hope it unleashes my blocks and insecurities. I will unveil it soon!

In the meantime, congratulations to my friend, Val, who won the "First Wax Free" at the European Wax Center. She homeschools her children, helps administrate her husband's TaeKwon-Do school, and she just had kidney stones removed after several weeks of pain. I think she deserves to win more self-inflicted wax pain, all in the name of vanity, of course. Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Here's to you, your health and your beauty, Val. You rock, friend!

Shaving Lessons, Chocolate Faces, and Unsightly Chin Hairs

Yesterday my Love, Michael, taught our oldest son, Zach, how to shave his upper lip. (See his fresh whiskers here.) Ever since then, Zach has been touching his after-five-shadow and asking me to feel its prickliness, as well. He has great hopes of his facial hair growing in thicker and eventually growing chin hairs.

This evening he asked me if women ever shave their faces. I told him that although not real common, some women do have facial hair, due to hormone imbalances, and have to shave. I relayed the fact that I used to alert (tease) my mom over her three unsightly chin hairs. But to my fate, I now have about 10 annoying chin hairs I need to keep tabs on. (Please discreetly inform me, if you ever see their insurgence.)

Zach said he really didn't need to know that. (And you probably didn't want to know that either!)

At least I still have one soft-faced boy in the house. I just informed Hudson (after he got out of the shower) to wipe off the chocolate still on his face.

How did this happen? It seems we were just exploring rollie pollies and worms in the backyard and now I have one son shaving and the other is taking showers instead of baths full of toys. But no matter what stage they're in, I know that "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him," Psalm 127:3. And I'm honored to watch and help them grow into the men God intends them to be, whiskers, chocolate faces, and chin hairs along the way.

P.S. Coincidentally and quite comically, I'm giving away a First Wax FREE from the new European Wax Center in Copperfield (www.waxcenter.com). Please leave a comment for a drawing on Thursday, if you'd like to win it!

Whimsical Wednesday

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

(Jack Johnson style)

My son's 5th gr. Valentine Party is tomorrow and I wanted to give the teachers a little something with my "elle H" cookies (yes, I've named them). But I'm continually looking for a whimsical gift receptacle.

My "love" and I used to frequent a coffee/tea room that sadly went out of business and we saved their loose leaf tea cans for something "someday."

Well today I found that "someday" and covered them with scrap paper, ribbon, stickers, and filled them with my "elle H" cookies.

You gotta reduce, reuse, recycle, enjoying some "elle H" cookies along the way!

Figure Friendly Fridays

A Half Cup of Joy

If you know me well, you know that I love mint chocolate chip ice cream or just about any ice cream with chocolate slivers in it. Just imagine it: rich, velvety chocolate melting in your mouth mixed with smooth, minty goodness. Yummmm.

STOP! I know it's not very figure friendly!

Well, to compromise on cutting the fat I usually buy the Weight Watchers little mini cups of mint chocolate chip ice cream. It satisfies my taste buds and it's already measured in half cup sizes because, you know f the measuring is up to me, I would make it a generous third or even a full cup of ice cream.

But lately, I haven't been able to find my mini half cups of mint chocolate chip joy!

I stopped by Walmart this week to purchase some nonperishables before I went to the YMCA and found myself wandering down the ice cream isle. They were also out of my half cup of joy. So I immediately found every mint chocolate chip container and compared fats, sugars, cholesterol and settled on the Dryers Light SlowChurned Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookie ice cream (that's a mouth full).

As I put it in my cart and walked away the thought occurred to me that I was on my way to the YMCA which meant if I had ice cream I'd have to go home first to drop it off and even have a little taste test. I knew very well if I went home, I may not go back out again to work out.

So I slowly and humbly took the ice cream back to the freezer section, checked out with my nonperishables, and went to the YMCA which saved me from my half cup of joy but also added calories and regret.

Figure Friendly Friday on Monday

Just Walk Out the Door!

I know every excuse in the book but God designed our bodies to move.

The first step is walking out the door to whatever your exercise of choice.

I haven't wanted to move lately. Call it mid-fourty hormones but honestly it takes all I have to walk out the door!

Today I found the energy to attend a late morning Reformer Pilates class. That's all I was going to do but once I finished the class, I decided to do 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical. All it took was just walking out the door.

Once I started, I went further than I intended to. I usually works that way.

So that's my Figure Friendly Friday tip on Monday. Move it!

Grandma's Riding Shotgun!

Albeit, Grandma would prefer to drive, I'm changing my weekly blog post to "Grandma's Riding Shotgun!" since that is the "correct" colloquialism.

Good Deed for the Day, or Not

Grandma was disturbed to see the homeless Veteran on the side of the road, holding up a sign for money. She couldn't bear to look and said so herself. Her son--my uncle is a Vet and I'm sure it struck a cord with her.

I quickly pulled out a few dollars, rolled down my window and gave it to him. The Vet and I both said, "God bless you" at the same time. I know the typical story. I grew up in West Lost Angeles near MGM Studios. On one corner, it was not unusual to see a homeless person and on the next, a movie star.

The church my dad pastored was on the famed Venice Blvd. that fed into the ever so unusual Venice Beach and it was common place at services to have transients in and out of the building. We saw what would happen if we handed a homeless person cash. They would walk across the street to the liquor store and immediately spend it on their liquid of choice. My dad quickly learned how to distinguish between someone who really needed help and an addict by offering them menial work. If they took the work, he would pay them. Usually the panhandlers cursed him and moved to the church across the street.

But with Grandma in the car visually disturbed by this homeless Vet, I felt compelled to give him cash. She seemed relieved.

After her doctor's appointment and running some errands, we happened upon another corner where a middle aged, weathered woman stood holding a sign. Grandma once again was disturbed and said, "Now what's her story?"

As I quickly started pulling money out of my wallet, Grandma did the same and we both handed over our cash once again saying, "God bless you."

As we drove off, she perked and said, "That was our good deed of the day." But I take no pride in what I did. There are too many needs in our world to have one good deed of the day, I explained to her. And even if they do spend it on "liquid" maybe someday they'll turn around, decide to come clean, and remember that there was someone who cared and reached out to them, if only with a few dollars.

Figure Friendly Fridays

Laughing My Calories Away!

As I was uncontrollably laughing on the elliptical this morning, the gal next to me gave me a strange look. After I continued to laugh loudly and looked over at her and said, "This show is hilarious!", she turned her TV to the same channel and laughed right along with me.

So, today, I've figured out the secret to staying on the elliptical longer! Just watch the Bonnie Hunt Show at the same time. The time flies by and you'll laugh while exercising! Laughter really is a good medicine!

That's my first tip of the week.

Before I go onto the next one, I just want to say that I absolutely hate strength training. I don't know why, except that maybe it's boring, repetitive, and painful! I have never found any pleasure in it. I suppose I need to feel like I'm killing two birds with one stone, like exercising and laughing.

So that leads me to my second tip:

Find a strength training workout that you can enjoy. In the last week, I've taken up Reformer Pilates, which is Pilates on a machine. It is painful and I probably won't see any benefits for at least a month. I think I'll be the walking wounded for quite awhile. But I do feel like I'm killing two birds with one stone while doing it.

First of all, I'm in a class with other women, potentially making new friends, Secondly, I'm strengthening my core, and lastly, I'm possibly making my short body look leaner and longer. (Hey, I can dream!)

And my last tip of the week:

Check out www.dailyburn.com. My husband turned me onto this website for tracking daily calories, exercise, water... It also has a phone app where you can take a picture of a food USP code and it'll feed the nutrition info into your nutrition area. Pretty cool!

Now to consistently track my food. I made it four out of seven days this week and pretty much maintained my weight. But a new day is coming to try, try again. In the meantime, I'll be laughing my calories off while watching the Bonnie Hunt Show!

Grandma's Driving Shotgun!

Grandma's Packing Marlboros

Unloading Grandma's electric cart on the grocery store conveyor belt, I discovered a pack of Marlboro cigarets. Mind you, Grandma doesn't smoke. When I showed them to her, she said they were probably from the gentlemen in isle 4 who was also in an electric cart and asked her if she wanted to race. We surmised that he was trying to slow her down by throwing the cigarets in her basket, jokingly, of course.

That's a birds-eye-view into a day with my 90 year old Grandma. Like Tuesdays with Morrie, written by Mitch Albom (I highly recommend) and the movie Driving Ms. Daisy, I spend most of my Tuesdays driving Ms. Grandma to the bank, lunch, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, etc.

Each week I plan to blog in my "Grandma's Driving Shotgun!" section about our happenings, conversations, and lessons learned. Just like parenting, caring for the elderly can be similar in that it is enlightening and humbling.

Figure Friendly Fridays

If you were to choose one figure friendly improvement to do for a year what would it be? Would you eat five fruits and vegetables a day for a year, exercise five times a week, give up sugar, drink eight cups of water a day...?

I decided that I'm going to journal my food everyday for a year and blog "Figure Friendly Fridays" for accountability. Here's a picture of me at my current weight and hope within this year, I will lose some weight, as a result.

The reason I choose this one figure friendly improvement for a year is because it's all inclusive for me. It not only helps me keep my calories down but it helps me make wise and nutritious food choices throughout the day and exercise. I follow the Diabetic Exchange Diet (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/diabetes-diet/DA00077) which helps me track starches, protein, fruit/veg, dairy, water, fat, exercise... Other similar free sources are www.mypyramid.gov or www.sparkpeople.com, especially since I have an app for Spark People on my phone.

To eat about 1400 calories a day in order to lose weight, I would stay within the exchanges below:

6 oz. of starches

5+ fruits/veg (1/2 cup servings)

5-6 oz. of lean protein

5 fats (equates to 5 gms of fat per exchange, equaling about 25 gms of fat a day)

2-3 cups dairy

6-8 cups water

Exercise minimum of 30 min. a day, at least 5x a week

Below is today's example of which is showing that I've already reached my starch and fat limit. So if I want a snack, it needs to be something like carrots, celery, small amount of peanut butter, and a glass of milk.

Breakfast: Cup OJ, packaged berry oatmeal w/1% milk,

Lunch: Slice wheat bread, scrabbled egg, lg pinch of shred cheese, strawberries, Activia, tblp granola

Snacks: Almond cookie, power bar

Dinner: Bowl beef stew

Starch: //////// = 8

Protein: //// = 4

Fruit: /// = 3

Veg: / = 1

Dairy: / 1/2 = 1 1/2

Fat: ///// = 5ish

Exercise: 33 min on elliptical

So, what's your Figure Friendly commitment for the year? If you don't have one, I challenge you to and let me know about it! I'll be posting tips on Fridays for motivation! Wish me well!

Here Comes the Sun

Here Comes the Sun

Have you ever had one of those supernatural moments where you know, beyond a shadow of the doubt, that God exists?

Rounding a corner on my morning walk, I was contemplating some of the year's tough circumstances, questioning what would become of them. As I walked into the sunlight, it's warmth enveloped me while listening to the words, "Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right. Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right..."

A sudden awareness came over me that God was talking to "me" and calling "me" "Little darling." Tears, tenderness, and a knowing that God cares about where I've been and where I'm going brought a new hope that a new day is coming.

Read the words imagining God is speaking to you, if you've been in "a long cold lonely winter":

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

Yo-Yo Ma & James Taylor's version is especially good listening on "Yo-Yo Ma & Friends Songs of Joy & Peace" album

Storm in the Night

Life begins so innocent, naive, sweet.

Trusting is easy and loving is free.

Our idols are sure, steadfast, brave.

They don't disappoint thru rose colored shades.

Life gets tougher with age.

Some disappointments and realities made.

But rainbows we see, so dreams and plans pave the way.

More love is found and successes made.

Life is good for all on display.

Until one day, like a storm in the night, stuck in the muck and the mire.

Innocence is torn. Trust is no longer easy or free.

The rain of sorrow showering, then flooding.

The debris rising like the tides.

Idols have fallen and wounds run deep.

Betrayal rings in the heart and mind freely.

Sharp like a knife, bruised, battered and bleeding.

Trust lost, hope lost, love lost, innocence lost.

Where to turn? All are torn and wounded in the storm.

Alas I see Him, like a flower springing out of a desert.

I see the one bleeding and dieing while saving me.

His wounds deeper--suffering betrayal and denial by those both near and far.

His storm was a terrifying night of beating, mocking, spitting, hanging, bleeding, suffering, dieing.

Dieing while saving me from my storm, myself, my hurt, my pain, my regret, my shame.

Just as He resurrected after that night's storm,

I too have somehow attained a resurrection.

And life begins again so innocent, sweet.

Trusting is easy and loving is free.

Phi. 3:10 "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

Rock Moms

Karen is my rockin' friend. When we lived on the same street, she was always beckoning me outside, whether it was to the bus stop, the park, the pool, on a fast walk, or to the cul-de-sac for a doggy birthday party. She's one of those 5:30a runners with unwavering determination. She runs marathons, has done a long distance two day bike ride, boot camp classes, etc. I, on the other hand, love to sleep as late as possible and wilt when I walk more than 3 miles an hour. Needless to say, Karen pushes me beyond my physical abilities.

At an annual summer family camp our families attend together, I once, and only once, found myself on a very hilly six mile bike ride with her and some other more experienced riders in East Texas. I can do six miles on a bike, no problem! But I didn't account for the hills, gear changes, building speed, and pumping my legs. That was the year I discovered the only physcially active thing that is somewhat daunting to Karen, is riding a horse (some fear resulting from a childhood incident). So I secretly took pleasure in watching her squirm on a trail ride.

Even though Karen and family have moved an hour away, we still vacation together at family camps and this year we tent camped at Enchanted Rock (E-Rock). We hiked two days with our families a few hours each day but on the last day, Karen and I took the kids on a "little" hike while our kind hubbies did all the packing. I should've known better, going off alone with Karen. Her husband is her dare devil stabling force when he's around. So I should've heeded the warning signs when we didn't take a marked hiking path and started forging our own that danger lie ahead.

The top picture shows us posing like we're climbing a rock. We could actually stand there at a severe angle but to get to that point on our "hike" was somewhat treacherous and fearful for me and the well-fare of our children. All the while though, Karen kept saying, "You can do this," "Just don't look down", "Piece of cake"..... I just prayed "out loud."

While on this treacherous hike, my youngest son brushed up against a cactus and ended up with about a hundered spines in his pants. I, being the practical mom that I am, was just going to have him take his pants off, tie his jacket around his waist, and hike the rest of the way in his boxers. But no, Karen, sat and tideously removed every spine while my son patiently waited.

Not only is Karen my rockin' outside friend but she's a most unwavering, encouraging friend and mother. She's not daunted by tough circumstances, in fact she thrives on them and goes after them with gusto (except for the horse, of course), all the while not allowing people to give up, speaking words of hope and fearlessness. Even with her kids, she's not afraid to let them try new adventurous things.

One of Karen's family rules is, "You have to at least try something adventurous once." I think that's an unspoken rule for hanging out with Karen too. I've had a few only once adventures with Karen and I certainly look forward to more. But don't tell her I said that!

Happy Birthday, Karen! You Rock Mom!

Golf Anyone?

Lately female golfers have been looking good. I'm not talking about their golf game so much, as about the great style of female golf clothes they're wearing. They ooze that persona of all-american fit female athlete. I've always wanted to learn how to play golf, mainly because I love aesthetics and hanging out on a beautifully scenic golf course for 4-8 hours seems appealing. And if I was wearing one of those sweet golf outfits, it would be that much more aesthetically pleasing, in my mind, of course.

Recently I went to a local sports store and found the golf clothes rack. All the golf clothes were smaller than the size I am, probably because most female golfers are in really good shape. Unfortunately, I had to return the too small black golf capris that I bought.

Sure I'm a Black Belt in TaeKwon-Do and it's taken me five years to get there but when I wear my TaeKwon-Do uniform in public, I don't get the same respect I get in the gym. Most people look at me like I'm some clown wearing a costume. But if I had a golf outfit on in public, I might obtain that respectable female athletic look.

After watching the guys in my house play Tiger Woods Golf, I've realized there's more to golf than just swinging a club and looking good. One has to know which way the wind is blowing when they throw grass in the air, what size club to use depending on how far one is from the green, and then what direction the green is growing in for putting. Sounds like another five years of training to me, let alone it's really expensive, and I have a bum knee that I have to protect enough as it is for TaeKwon-Do.

Even our church campus-pastor had a Facebook picture posted of him doing a "fake" bicycle stunt while moutain biking, I'm sure imagining in his mind, he was 20 years younger doing the real thing.

All of us have a certain persona of what we'd like to look and be like. Just fill your name in that that desired blank....golfer, tennis pro, black belt, cyclist, artist, mom, singer, chef, etc. None of those things, in and of themselves are bad goals. Donald Miller writes about a similar issue in his book, "Searching for God Knows What" and says, "...there is nothing wrong with being beautiful or being athletic or being smart, but those are some of the pleasures of life, not life's redemption."

The key for me as to why I want to look like a female golfer, is in the statement I made above, "respectable female athletic look." When you boil it all down, what I'm really saying is I want to be admired and respected for who I am. Unfortunately, looking like a golfer is not going to get me the admiration and respect, especially since the clothes don't fit!

My husband, Michael, recently shared a quote with me, "What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. What lies within all humanity is an emptiness that we are trying to fill. I've been trying to fill that emptiness with respectable athletic golf clothes that people admire when all the while I'm empty on the inside for love and admiration.

This reminds me of a conversation I recently had with my son when getting ready to go into 7th grade. We had gone to a school event, and I noticed that he and the school friends were hardly speaking. As a parent, I immediately pegged it as insecurities. The following week, we were both going to his school orientation and I challenged him to say "Hi" to every person he recognized. I assured him that no matter how outgoing he thought a person was, they were all feeling exactly the same as him, "insecure and unsure of themselves." I also encouraged him with the Proverb that says, "He who has friends shows himself friendly." And sure enough, as soon as he started saying "Hi", his friends dropped their guards and started a friendly dialogue with him. I didn't have to say much. The proof was in the pudding.

Even when all grown up, we all have this empty insecurity within us that really no one, no activity, or no item of clothing can fill. The only filler that has always satisfied me is Jesus. He once told a woman, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13&14

Where's your empty place that you might be trying to fill with respectable athletic clothing?

Devo time!

I like to call my devotional time with God "Devo Time." Some people call it "Quiet Time". Whatever you call it, it needs to happen in order to stay in a listening relationship with Christ. In that devo time, I follow the acronym ACTS as a guide. "A" stands for "Adoration." "C" stands for "Confession." "T" stands for "Thanks." And "S" stands for "Supplication."

One thing I've been doing in the last year or so for "Adoration" is following the book of Psalms in the Bible. I read and journal a Psalm that coincides with the day of the week. For example, today is June 17, so I read Psalms 17. When I get to the end of the month, I just move onto the next higher Psalm. For example, June has 30 days so on July 1 I will ready Ps. 31 and on July 2 I'll read Ps. 32.....

I like to journal the Psalm to fit my life and my praise to God, always turning it back to Him and not to my needs or my wants. For example, today I journaled part of Ps. 17, as follows, which is different from the original language (You'll have to read to compare): "You hear, O Lord, my righteous plea and listen to my cry. You give ear to my prayers. They do not rise from deceitful lips. May my vindication come from you. Your eyes see what is right. You probe my heart and examine me at night." It's all about Him during this time.

That last sentence of journaling that Ps. helped me move into my "Confession" time, of which I'll spare you the details. Then I moved into "Thanks". Who of us in America doesn't have something to be thankful for. "Supplication" or needs/wants or prayers for others should be last because we've first put ourselves in a position of God is God and I am not.

For supplication, I keep a prayer calendar of 31 days that repeats itself every two weeks or so. I have some of the following needs on it: 1. Finances, 2. Friends/Neighbors, 3. My cousin Gregg who is a quadriplegic, 4. Church/ministry involvements/missions 5. Family..... I pray for those needs on the day of the week they're listed. Usually during that supplication time for that specific need, God often prompts me how to pray or to take action regarding that specific need. More often than not, when something comes up on my calendar, it's already something that has been on my heart. In stead of worrying about it I'm prompted to pray about it. God even works through what's on our calendars.

During my prayer time today, the need listed was to pray for friends/neighbors then I felt prompted to Blog about my devo time. I don't journal about it to make my self look righteous. There's many a day I ignore it and miss out on hearing and being used by God. I journal it to encourage you, friend/neighbor, to devote some time to Him. I guarantee he will speak to you and work through you!

Perseverance

Since I had to write a TaeKwon-Do thesis as part of obtaining a Black Belt, I thought I'd post it for others to read. I hope it inspires you to persevere thru whatever you're struggling with.

TaeKwon-Do 1st Dan Thesis
By Ellen Humphries

Perseverance

One of the reasons I’ve made it thus far in Taekwon-Do is due to the fact that my thesis topic is on “perseverance.” I may very well have quit by now, if I had not chosen this topic. This topic is in fact what has kept me going the last six months. It has held me accountable.

Although, the main reason I have not quit is due to my husband, Michael Humphries, 2nd Degree Black Belt. If it wasn’t for his encouragement, help, and dedication, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would have quit at Blue Belt. Training with him and my two sons, Zach and Hudson Humphries, 1st Degree Black Belts, have made the endurance worth it and even fun for the journey.

After conducting an informal interview of Black Belts, asking them what made it hard for them to persevere to their Black Belt, I got varying answers but the number one answer seemed to be injuries and recovery. Another was time constraints because of life commitments. Still another was due to fear and anxiety from testing to losing confidence in sparring matches and taking months to find that confidence again. I personally fall under each category and will explain them below.

So what exactly does “perseverance” mean? I will give you some technical, spiritual, and personal definitions of what “perseverance” means to me.
A first definition is from an on-line dictionary[1] which says:

per-se-ver-ance [pur-suh-veer-uh ns] –noun
1.Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

I also took note of the fact that “perseverance” has another word inside of it which is “severe.” Another definition from the on-line dictionary[2] is as follows:

se·vere (sə-vîr') -- adj.
Marked by or requiring strict adherence to rigorous standards or high principles: a severe code of behavior. Extremely difficult to perform or endure; trying: a severe test of our loyalty.

I personally can attest to many difficulties, obstacles, and discouragements through the course of my Taekwon-Do training. I have had knee surgery and took a six month absence. I’ve had a demanding life as a homemaker and ministry/school volunteer. I’m overweight, short, and in my 40s--that in itself has its own difficulties, especially in sparring. Our home was struck by Hurricane Ike with $35,000 worth of repairs taking six months to put our home back together again. I help care for my elderly grandmother who has been in and out of the hospital the last few years. And I’ve had extended family challenges. In spite of these difficulties, obstacles, and discouragements, I have persevered, albeit not always attractively and gracefully, sometimes fearfully, but always hopefully.

The International Taekwon-Do Federation (ITF) Phoenix Group Handbook[3] states that the principles of character are key to the martial art student and without internal controls and personal morals, it invites disaster. In 1972, the Phoenix Group established its tenets to be Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Self-Control, and Indomitable Spirit.

Because “perseverance” is the topic at hand, I will only discuss that tenet and not the others listed in the above paragraph. According to the Phoenix Group Handbook, the definition of the tenet “Perseverance” is: “The determination to work at a task until it is completed. The patience to let time and hard work accomplish your goal. The wisdom to recognize your limits.”
I find the definition here interesting in that it says, “wisdom to recognize your limits.” Being that I’m in my 40s, overweight, and short, gravity and age have revealed some of my limitations. I’m glad the ITF Phoenix Group allows me to recognize my limitations.

Another definition comes from the Encyclopedia of Taekwon-Do, Vol. 1[4]. Its Explanation of Tenets says, “Needless to say, the success or failure of Taekwon-Do training depends largely on how one observes and implements the tenets of Taekwon-Do which should serve as a guide for all serious students of the art.” And that encyclopedia’s definition of “perseverance” is as follows: “There is an old Oriental saying, ‘Patience leads to virtue or merit,’ ‘One can make a peaceful home by being patient for 100 times. Certainly, happiness and prosperity are most likely brought to the patient person. To achieve something, whether it is a higher degree or the perfection of a technique, one must set his goal, then constantly persevere….One of the most important secrets in becoming a leader of Taekwon-Do is to overcome every difficulty by perseverance.”

Until I read the above explanation of “perseverance,” I never equated “patience” with “perseverance.” A mental light bulb went off in my head. I thought, “I’ve never been a patient person, no wonder it’s been so hard for me to “persevere.” It’s as if I found the missing link. Unfortunately, my lack of patience is a sign of immaturity. But in realizing that patience and perseverance go hand-in-hand, I think I’m finally getting it.

The last but not least source from which I find a definition for “perseverance” is in the Bible[5]. This source is from which I hang my life. Without it, I have no hope of persevering through the day, let alone through to a Taekwon-Do Black Belt. Some of its references on “perseverance” are as follows:

Romans 5:3-4 “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” I have to remember that my suffering is producing more than just a sore body and a confused brain from remembering right from left and verbal definitions in English and Korean. My suffering and perseverance is producing character and hope.

II Thessalonians 3:5 “May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.” Christ is the perfect example of persevering through a tortuous death. If He could endure torture and crucifixion, I certainly can endure the discipline of Taekwon-Do.

James 1:3-4, “Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” To finish the course, I must persevere. I like the reward of maturity and completeness.

Another set of Bible references are taken from one of my favorite Bible stories about David and Goliath.

1Samuel 17:47
All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

1Samuel 17:48
As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.

1Samuel 17:49
Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.

1Samuel 17:50
So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

David used simple stones to protect God’s people. I’m sure he mastered the skill of aiming stones many times out in the field, tending his sheep. So too, students must use the simple stones of perseverance. Perseverance to attend class, study their verbal, and practice their material.

More often than not, I look at the giant of testing, competition, and knowing my verbal, instead of looking at the stone of persistence and getting accustomed to those tools—like stones of which David was accustomed to using.

Doing my part and trusting in God for strength to persevere is my goal.
In a recent book I read entitled, Checklist for Life for Women[6], I discovered these practical tips that I will start using in my perseverance journey:

o Keep a positive attitude and look for possibilities inherent in a difficult situation. For example, assuming the best, instead of the worst when it comes time to test or compete. Negative thinking drains my energy and distracts me from doing my best.

o Set goals that can be achieved. A good goal is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and well timed. For example, I have a tendency to procrastinate when I have a looming deadline. I should make it my goal to know all my material a month before testing, so the last month is just review, maintenance, and even helping other students and not being filled with anxiety.

o Do your best and take risks. Challenge yourself to reach a little higher, try a little harder, dream a bit bigger. I often underestimate what I am able to accomplish.

o Don’t quit. Persistence pays off. Plans and goals usually take longer than originally planned, like obtaining my Black Belt. I tell my children, it’s not always the most talented who are successful, but the one who is willing to work hard and stay for the long haul.

o Lighten up and have some fun. I tend to get too serious and self-focused when achieving goals and then I miss out on the best of life. Success means nothing if I’m unhappy or too self-focused.

I end with one of my favorite quotes and Bible verses. Max Lucado, a well-known Pastor and Author said, “Focus on giants—you stumble. Focus on God—your giants tumble.”[7] In my own strength, I cannot obtain a Black Belt in Taekwon-Do. My humanity is too weak, insecure, and impatient. But like David said in I Samuel 17:47 “…it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's…” It’s not in my strength. Only in His strength will I persevere to the end.
[1] http://www.dictionary.com/
[2]http://www.dictionary.com/
[3] J.F. Tompkins, International Taekwon-Do Federation Phoenix Group Student Manual (Jean L. Tompkins, D.B.A Hi-Kik Designs, 2002) p. 27
[4] Gen. Choi Hong Hi, Encyclopedia of Taekwon-Do: Vol. 1 (International Taekwon-Do Federation, 1993) p. 15 & 16
[5] Zondervan, The Holy Bible: New International Version (The Zondervan Corporation, 1996)
[6] Thomas Nelson Publisher, Checklist for Life for Women (JRQ Inc., 2002) p. 195
[7] Max Lucado, Facing Your Giants (Thomas Nelson, 2006).

Guts & Butts

Today I took Grandma to the "Guts and Butts" doctor and I'm quoting the doc himself. Taking Grandma to the doc is always interesting whether in the waiting room or in the exam room for a number of reasons, one being that my Grandma can't hear and the other being that there are always interesting characters in a doc's office.

While filling out forms and trying not to stare at others while they waited, a sweet older lady came in with her caring middle-aged son. I couldn't help but listen to their conversation that enveloped the waiting room while I was concentrating on Grandma's AARP and Medicare information. Their talk was pleasant, even sweet at times. I was thinking what a rockin' mom and son. He was so doting and she was so interested in his life. Then out of the blue she says, "So when are you going to lose some weight....?" Out of embarrassment, I about crawled under the chair for him. She completely emasculated the poor man right there in front of God and everybody. He offered some fixes and excuses and she mumbled "How's that workin' for ya?" I discovered we all want healthy kids, even when we're old and grey but influencing that by our words can be a curse or a blessing. Yikes!

As we eventually migrated to the exam room, I had to inform the nurse and doc to speak loudly so grandma could here them but, of course, one has to speak so loud that I'm sure the adjoining rooms can hear every word. Can you imagine sitting on the table in an exam room and hearing this conversation: "I get out of breath a little and I have ringing in my ears," says Grandma. "This doc is for the bowels, Grandma. You need to talk to your cardiologist about your shortness of breath," I said. "I'm the 'Guts and Butts' doctor....," says the doc. I fell over in laughter and I'm sure the patients fell off the exam tables in the adjoining rooms.

I was rockin' today--rockin' in embarrassment over a mom's insensitive remarks and in laughter over a doc's attempt to make a situation more light-hearted.

A Horse is a Horse, of Course, of Course

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can talk to a horse of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed.

This song may be too old for you to remember but it's the song that comes to mind when I think of my friend, Levi.

Levi encountered this horse while fishing on the pond, only this horse wasn't far off in the distance but too close for Levi's comfort. In fact, the horse was grazing so close it sent Levi into a panic with great anxiety! The horse, was just a horse, of course, and was grazing in the grass. But Levi, only saw the size of the horse, of course, and his closeness seemed to harass.

Levi's mom was alerted to his fear and with a mom's art of distraction, invited Levi into a canoe out on the pond, for some relaxation. Levi eagerly took the invitation, knowing that the horse, of course, would not graze in the pond and he could plan is next action.

Although Levi's dream is to be a super hero, he talked with his wise mom, out on the pond, about his fear and anxiety. In his small wanna be super hero frame; he confessed that he was tired of worrying and being filled with fear on many occasions. His wise mom shared with Levi about the true Super Hero who we can cast our fears on--The One who gives us strength to face our fears and to carry on.

With the horse looking on, Levi confessed his need for the Super Hero named, Jesus, right there on the pond. He leapt from the boat and was able to carry on, realizing that the horse is a horse, of course, of course, and a Super Hero named, Jesus, used the horse to show Levi his need for Him, of course.

Welcome to the heros of faith, Levi! His power is made perfect in your weakness!

So Close and Yet So Far

Our house is almost finished. We're so close and yet so far. There's some painting yet to be done, in addition to hanging a ceiling fan, switch plates, shelving, etc. We're almost there, just not yet. Do you have things in your life that are so close and yet so far? Maybe, like me, you never finished college. So close and yet so far. Maybe you too have household projects or an unfinished craft, scrapbook, yard work, savings account, work project.... So close and yet so far.

Christmas is so close and yet so far. It's two days away and I'm scrambling to get the house cleaned, laundry done and out of the way, presents wrapped, shopping finished, desserts baked, etc. I'm almost in panic mode because Christmas is so close! However, it also seems so far because I'm busy in the doing and not busy in the reflecting, worshipping, treasuring, like Mary, "all these things" in my heart. I just want to sit with my family and light our advent candles and read a Christmas book by the fire. I want to watch A Christmas Story DVD and wrap presents and snuggle with my love, Michael. But the tyranny of the urgent calls and I wane for the true Christmas that's so far in the distance. I see it but I'm not experiencing it.

As it approaches, quickly now, I intend to reverence it and bow down to it. It's my hope, my song, my life. So close I can feel it now. I can hear the angels singing "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." Can you hear it? Can you see it? Can you feel it? Come close and not so far.

Go Before Us

In all our home construction, I have times of anxiety, like when my husband, Mike, says, "Oh, I can do that." Having a very capable, handy-man husband is always nice to have around but Hurricane Ike has left us with a wake of too many household projects in addition to working and daily responsibilities. So the "Oh, I can do that" usually equates to long hours and hard labor.

On one particular week we had construction workers who installed, floated, taped, and sanded dry wall in four rooms but we were planning on doing the texturing, priming and painting to save on labor costs. While Mike was researching how to texture walls and ceilings, I began praying Isaiah 45:2 "I will go before you and make the crooked places straight..." asking God to go before us in providing the work we needed without more stress.

No sooner did I pray that when Mike called and said that the workers were coming back to texture the walls and ceilings. We did not think we had initially communicated that to the contractor but they said that it was apart of the job. God immediately made that crooked place straight! Our schedules, minds, and emotions were made straight. God had gone before us knowing that this would be a time of great anxiety and provided a way for us.

What are your crooked places? Just like God moved waters for the Israelites, He can move obstacles and straighten the crooked places of your life. Ask God to go before you.